Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
