I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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