Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
