I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
