the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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