We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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