How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
