Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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