Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
