In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
