is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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