This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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