Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
