At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
