That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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