Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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