idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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