All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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