The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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