She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
