Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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