well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
