I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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