You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize