it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think people are normalizing furries
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
