So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Text me some of your sweat
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize