yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I could fuck to npr.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
