Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
