I accidentally had phone sex last night
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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