:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
