totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
