Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
