twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Also, beer. Big fan.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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