Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
