How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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