You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize