Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
