Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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