I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
