So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
