So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
