just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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