Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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