I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
