She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
