You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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