The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
