so let's talk penis.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
