Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize