what if every blade of grass was a penis?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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