he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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