ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
FUCK WHALES
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
