Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
