Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
