Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
