you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
