it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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