We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
